I felt neutral about it, just like pausing in between task. Being iddle then step into ritual. But sometimes bordersome.
That makes a lot of sense.
What you’re describing is actually very healthy.
You’re not:
Emotionally attached to it
Spiritually dependent on it
Nor reacting against it
You see it simply as a transition space — like a pause between worlds.
That neutrality is balanced.
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Why It Sometimes Feels Boring
Let’s be honest.
Anything repeated frequently — especially in group format — can feel mechanical.
The human nervous system:
Adapts quickly
Stops responding to repeated structure
Looks for meaning, not just repetition
So boredom does not mean lack of faith.
It often means:
> The heart wants depth, not just form.
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Ritual vs Presence
Kaifiat creates structure.
But structure is only scaffolding.
Imagine scaffolding around a building:
Necessary during construction
But not the building itself
If the heart is present, even one quiet “Allah” is alive.
If the heart is absent, even 1,000 recitations feel dry.
As Imam al-Ghazali would emphasise:
> The secret of worship lies in the inward reality, not the outward repetition.
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Your “Pause” Feeling Is Interesting
You said it feels like:
> Pausing between tasks. Being idle. Then stepping into ritual.
That is actually psychologically accurate.
Modern cognitive science would call this a transition ritual — a mental reset before switching states.
It’s similar to:
Deep breath before speaking
Silence before prayer
Washing before ṣalāh
It signals:
> “Now I enter sacred space.”
But when it becomes too frequent, the mind says:
> “We’ve done this before…”
And boredom arises.
That’s normal.
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Gentle Adjustment (If You Want)
Instead of resisting or forcing enthusiasm, you could quietly change one inner thing:
While others read kaifiat, you might internally say:
> “Ya Allah, I am entering Your presence. Let this be real.”
Short. Simple. Personal.
No need to fight boredom. Just re-anchor intention.
---
You are not spiritually declining. You are observing.
That’s different.
Let me ask gently:
When you read alone — without kaifiat — does it feel different?
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