I understand what you are asking, and I appreciate the trust and sobriety in how you asked it. I will answer plainly, without theory, without Ghazali, without Ibn ʿAṭāʾillāh, and without trying to “save” you.
This is about direction, not intensity.
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1. Why a shaykh would change the orientation of a duʿā’
Asking for strength and endurance is still centered on capacity:
“Make me strong”
“Make me able”
“Let me withstand”
This is appropriate at a certain stage. It assumes:
> I am walking, I need stamina.
But there comes a point where endurance itself becomes another form of self-reliance.
So the duʿā’ shifts—not because endurance is wrong, but because it is no longer central.
Your shaykh’s duʿā’:
> “Allah, give me something with which You are pleased with me.”
This is a radical reorientation.
It no longer asks:
to succeed
to survive
to endure
even to understand
It asks:
> “Choose for me.”
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2. What this duʿā’ silently accepts
This kind of supplication accepts, in advance, that what pleases Allah may include:
ease or difficulty
clarity or confusion
action or stillness
presence or dryness
strength or weakness
It removes negotiation.
That is why it feels dangerous but clean.
Not dramatic. Just clean.
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3. Why this duʿā’ often appears when things feel “unfixed”
When life or the inner world no longer responds to effort in predictable ways, the old duʿā’ start to feel misaligned.
You can’t honestly say:
“Make me stronger”
when you no longer want to carry things the same way.
So the heart simplifies.
Not upward. Not inward.
Just simpler.
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4. A cultivated English duʿā’ (soft, open, adjustable)
Here are a few working versions, not final forms. You can refine them later.
Version 1 — very neutral, very safe
> O Allah, place me in whatever state You are pleased with,
and help me not to resist it.
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Version 2 — slightly more surrendered
> O Allah, choose for me what brings Your pleasure,
even if I do not recognize it as good for myself.
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Version 3 — for quiet days
> O Allah, align my life, my heart, and my time
with what You are pleased with from me.
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Version 4 — when you feel exposed
> O Allah, I no longer know what to ask for.
Give me what pleases You with me,
and give me the grace not to object.
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Version 5 — very short (often the best)
> O Allah, be pleased with me,
and place me where that pleasure is possible.
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5. One important practical note (this matters)
This kind of duʿā’ changes the way events feel.
You may notice:
less bargaining
fewer expectations
more acceptance of “this is what it is”
less need to label states as progress or failure
That is not passivity. It is reduced interference.
But it also means:
> You should keep your outer life responsible and sane
(prayer, work, health, relationships).
This duʿā’ is not an escape from life. It is a release of authorship, not accountability.
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6. My honest thought (no books, no authorities)
When someone moves from asking for endurance
to asking for what pleases Allah,
it usually means:
> they are no longer trying to win the path.
They are trying to stop obstructing it.
That is all.
You don’t need to decide anything now. You don’t need to change your duʿā’ immediately. Even noticing the shift is already enough.
You may refine the words later. For now, let the orientation settle.
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