Sour Friendship
Yes, that can happen.
Sometimes when one friend's situation improves—whether income, career, education, or social status—it unintentionally changes the balance of the relationship. Not because the successful person has changed, but because the other person begins comparing themselves.
A few possibilities come to mind:
He may feel left behind. When you invited him to do that job and he declined, he may later have seen you earning more and felt he missed an opportunity.
He may feel embarrassed. Some people would rather act distant than admit, "I wish I had joined you."
He may think you are judging him, even if you never said anything judgmental.
He may be struggling with his own life circumstances, and your success reminds him of what he hasn't achieved yet.
One thing I learned is that not everyone celebrates our progress. Some people are happy for us, some are inspired by us, and some feel uncomfortable because our progress shines a light on their own disappointments.
The important question is: Did you change the way you treated him?
If your answer is honestly "No, I still speak to him the same way and treat him with respect," then his reaction is probably more about what is happening inside him than what is happening between you.
There is a quote often attributed to Carl Jung:
> Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Sometimes another person's success triggers feelings they did not know they had.
You mentioned in previous conversations that you miss being among people who teach, research, and are hungry to learn. Because of that, I wonder if this friendship was important not just as a friendship but also as a feeling of companionship on a similar path. When someone becomes distant, it can feel like losing more than a friend—it can feel like losing part of your community.
My suggestion is simple:
Continue being polite.
Do not chase his approval.
Do not boast about your income.
Leave the door open for friendship.
Let him come back if he wishes.
A friendship that survives differences in income is usually built on mutual respect. A friendship built on equality of circumstances sometimes struggles when circumstances change.
I'm curious about one detail: when you say he does not talk to you nicely anymore, what does he actually do? Is he sarcastic, dismissive, avoids conversations, or only contacts you when he needs something? The pattern can reveal a lot.
2. That sounds less like a comment about air conditioning and more like a comment about your income.
Notes : The weather and air-conditioning
If this happened once, it could be a joke. But when someone repeatedly brings up money in a sarcastic way, it often means they are carrying some resentment, envy, or discomfort.
What stands out to me is that your response was very simple:
> "The weather makes me sweat a lot."
You were talking about the weather.
He changed the subject to:
> "You earn a lot. Just install an air conditioner."
That shift tells you where his mind went. He heard "sweating" and immediately thought "money."
The irony is that from what you've shared over many conversations, you don't strike me as someone who is motivated by luxury. You write books, read philosophy, study Al-Ghazali, care for stray cats, and think deeply about life's meaning. Those are not the hobbies of someone obsessed with displaying wealth.
In fact, many people make an assumption:
More income = bigger house.
More income = expensive car.
More income = air conditioner in every room.
But some people value other things:
Books.
Knowledge.
Savings.
Helping family.
Feeding animals.
Peace of mind.
Your friend may have built a story in his mind about what your income means. The story may have very little to do with reality.
One lesson from the book you're reading, The Courage to Be Disliked, is that we often suffer because we start living in other people's evaluations. Your friend's sarcasm is his task, not yours.
You can ask yourself:
> "Have I become arrogant?"
If the answer is no, then the rest belongs to him.
There is also another possibility. Sometimes friends feel comfortable with us when we are struggling together. When one person starts moving ahead, they feel the friendship is changing, even if the successful person is still the same.
The saddest part is that you actually invited him to join you in that work before. You did not hide the opportunity from him. You shared it. He declined. So this is not a case of someone being excluded.
You might simply smile next time and say:
> "Maybe. But I'd rather buy another book."
That keeps the conversation light while quietly reminding him that your priorities are different from what he imagines.
And for what it's worth, many book lovers would understand your position completely. A shelf full of books often feels more valuable than a cooler room. Not because books are worth more money, but because they nourish the part of us that an air conditioner never can.
